Keep your packets in your pants

from here

Monster DDoS attacks seem to be on the horizon. Hopefully not, but I don't have a lot of faith in the people who try to take down parts of the Internet, and it sounds like they're going to be able to do a better job now.

Get 'em while they're young

found on Know Your Meme

The artist who produced this picture surely felt that this could represent a model of how spy agencies could win over the hearts and minds of the next generation and thereby be more accepted by them. In reality, though, people already ignore the surveillance cameras that are everywhere, so I'm not sure winning over hearts and minds will accomplish much.

Invisible tape would be particularly useless

from here

Pretty much the only way tape is going to stop your conversations from being recorded by your microphone is if you put the tape over your mouth.

That must be one of those new S pies

found on The Art Of Trolling

The NSA are getting into everything these days.

Time for some folks to get a new business model

from here

So a malware developer gets jailtime without ever launching an attack? Good. It's about time getting charged with "aiding and abetting" became a real risk for the people who provide attack tools.

Somehow not quite as threatening as the original

found on Know Your Meme

I'm all for 'outside the box' alternatives, but only if they accomplish what the original accomplished. While I'm sure there will be some enemies who lay down their arms to marvel at the cuteness of an otter with a squirt gun, that's not going to win any battles.

Votey McVoteface for 2020

from here

Oh, you thought voting machines were air-gapped? Yeah, not so much, apparently.

It's not just the walls that have ears

found on Meme Center

I'd say something clever at the NSA's expense but I don't want to be on any more lists.

They've got enough wheels already

from here (source image)

Someone who can't move their arms or legs probably can't steal this bike. Someone who merely can't move their legs, however, may very well use their arms to get around (by pushing the wheels), and so are probably plenty strong enough to lift the bike off of that post.

Exodus of privacy

found on Kudelka Cartoons

We all know what an invasion of privacy is, right? It's when someone goes where they don't belong and acquires what should be private information. But what should we call it when, rather than someone invading a private space and taking private information away, the private information leaves on it's own because of our own actions? I'm sort of leaning towards calling it an exodus of privacy.

As always with a cartoon site, check out the other cartoons there. There are years worth of them.

Attacker, Pwn Thyself

from here

Do they really qualify as advanced persistent threats if they give themselves away by infecting themselves with their own malware? That seems a little less than advanced to me.

Stalking 101

found on Dump A Day

It may not technically be an invasion of privacy if you're following someone around in public spaces (online or in real life), but it sure as heck feels like it.

Never go full malware

from here

I dunno what this flight simulator company was thinking but part of me thinks that every company that decides to distribute malware to their own customers (whether or not they planned to use it) deserves to be made an example of.

Now there's a situation you need to be aware of

found on Izismile

Situational awareness is important, but sometimes the world doesn't provide us with all the information we need to be aware of what's out there, so we need aids like the one pictured here.

That's the secret

from here

Most government agencies seem to have names that describe them pretty well. The Federal Bureau of Investigation, for example, is an agency that does in fact perform investigations. The Secret Service, on the other hand, doesn't really seem all that secret to me.

(It appears as though Imgur has lost the image. Not sure why)

Nagware reinvented

found on Acid Cow

Nagware used to refer to a really annoying form of shareware. Does anyone release their software as shareware anymore? I haven't seen it in quite a while, so software updates seem to have become the new king of nagging.

Spyware: The Next Generation

from here

I'm starting to think smart devices like smart water bottles and smart pillows and the like are really just market research trojan horses wrapped in a thin veneer of utility and convenience. The concepts are absurd, the science behind the "goals" these devices promote is questionable at best, and seemingly the only reason you pay for these things that spy on you instead of getting them for free like so many Internet services is that there isn't yet a proven market for the novel data these things gather and the cost of development needs to be recouped.

The room is bugged

found on The Meta Picture

Roaches certainly like to scurry away to dark, unseen corners when you turn on the lights, so who knows, maybe they really do prefer privacy.

Jim Jefferies: Gun Control

Watch on YouTube

Watch on YouTube

Thoughts and prayers? Seems like it's been mostly praying and not enough thinking, frankly.

Not the kind of compromise you want in a relationship

from here

Somehow not quite as exciting when you find out the truth

from here

A true and embarrassing story.

It's catphish season

found on Meme Center

T'is the season when secret admirers magically become a lot more believable for no good reason. Be careful out there.

Left hand, have you met right hand yet?

from here

Inspired by Chris Boyd, whose complaint strikes a significant chord with this particular blogger (for reasons that I hope are obvious)

Integrity isn't just about bits and bytes

found on The Art Of Trolling

Just as attacks against availability and confidentiality can take place in the real world, so too can attacks against integrity.

At least people will still be able to figure out what you're trying to spell, though.

We can only hope it's the right one

from here and here

Going dark is for dim bulbs. Investigators got along perfectly fine before smartphones were invented, so not being able to see inside of them now shouldn't be that big a deal. Sure, being able to get into the contents of the smartphone would make investigators' lives easier, but since when do we give up our individual privacy and security to make things easier for law enforcement? The serve part of protect and serve means they serve our interests, not the other way around.

The Internet Never Forgets (merchandise)

product page

So I'm trawling through my normal sources of funny things when a phrase pops into my head:

The Internet Never Forgets

I thought it would make a pretty good catch phrase so I googled to see if someone else had already come up with it and lo and behold many people had. I decided to highlight this particular example because I'd very much like to encourage people walk around wearing this reminder to everyone that if you make a mistake on the Internet, that mistake is permanent. The Internet may seem like a great place to share things, but be careful you don't share something you'll later regret.

That doesn't roll off the tongue quite as nicely

from here

If only there was a way to describe what is normally called identity theft that was both catchy AND accurate.

Now we know who watches the watchers

found on Caravan Alive

The watchers watch themselves, of course. Not that they can be trusted to do it, but that's the way it works out.

Calvin & Hobbes in real life?

from here

I'm not sure how you miss the fact that it's completely motionless, but apparently a number of officers did just that for nearly an hour.

Pimp My PC

found on the Global Nerdy blog

It's not a bad explanation of virtualization, all things considered.

Forever Secure

from here

Apparently Words Of Heart is a real thing (and they've since added a disclaimer to not use your real password, which seems like it invalidates the entire purpose of the thing). It's a spectacularly bad idea, unless you're a cyber-criminal looking to find people who have a password you already know (instead of trying to figure out people's passwords). Whatever way you look at it, that is a site where no matches is a good thing.

Y'know who's even harder to kidnap than fat people?

found on Meme Base

Forget fat people being harder to kidnap. TRAINS are harder to kidnap, and yet here we are.

So don't rely on that spare tire around your midsection protecting you from kidnappers.

They're not very good for running

from here

Jim Jefferies: Australian Airport Security

Watch on YouTube

It's nice to see that airport security isn't stupid everywhere.

Once more unto the data breach

from here

Adobe's track record with regards to security vulnerabilities is so bad there are jokes about it's very name representing insecurity (like this one here), so the news that there is yet another zero day vulnerability in one of their products isn't terribly surprising at all.

Protection that's ahead of it's time

found on I Can Has Cheezburger

What can I say? I can't resist puns.

It's OK if they don't talk back so long as they listen

from here

Anything can have a beneficial use, even spyware.

The purr-fect spy

found on Quick Meme

And that is why I don't let the cat come into the bathroom with me.

I guess the script kiddies were feeling left out

from here

It's surprising how controversial the release of AutoSploit is. It's an attack tool. It lowers the complexity and therefore cost of launching attacks, and in so doing expands both the population capable of successfully carrying out the attack and the pool of potential victims for which it's economically feasible to launch the attack against.

It's easy to forget that the FBI is a spy agency too

found on Meme Generator

With all the attention the NSA gets, we often forget that the Intelligence community has 16 other agencies in it, including the FBI.