Department of Pearl Clutching

from here and here

Of course the FBI is raising a stink about Facebook switching to end to end encryption. And of course they're going to say they're worried about kids. Here's an idea - if the children really are their only concern, why not simply ask tech companies to disallow encryption when communicating with children? It's not a hard sell to suggest that kids require supervision. Problem solved, if that is in fact the real problem. I doubt it is, however.

Who needs a warrant when you've got a wallet?

from here and here

It's not really a surprise that the FBI tracks people, but it is still worth noting when they admit to having done it and how. I guess I was expecting them to do something more technically sophisticated than simply buying location data from data brokers.

The sun went down on the going dark problem

from here

I always knew the government had it in them to gather evidence of criminal activity in spite of encrypted communications. They just had to put in the work instead of asking the tech industry for an Easy Button. Now that they've shown they can sell their own backdoored phones to criminals all over the world, read tens of millions of encrypted messages, and make nearly a thousand arrests (with more coming), they better realize they can't leverage their perceived helplessness in negotiations with tech companies any longer. Everyone knows what they're capable of and arguably their approach is better than anything the tech industry can do because it's much more targeted.

An early biometric database

found on Acid Cow

Imagine how much bigger (and smaller) biometric databases are now that they're computerized. That many fingerprints could probably fit on an external harddisk you could fit in your pocket, but they probably still need a room that big to hold all the data they hve now.

Go ahead and post your crime selfies

found on Reddit

With the kinds and quantities of incriminating evidence that Facebook and Instagram have on so many people, they could probably be just as effective as the FBI in many cases, and all their data was voluntarily provided.

Government spies need love too

foudn on LOL Snaps

Maybe they'd have more fulfilling relationships if they... stopped spying on people.

Now to FOIA my own password

found on Izismile

Y'know, maybe it's not the FBI's job after all. Maybe the Secret Service is the one that has the service for recovering secrets.

Maybe they didn't notice

from here

Y'know, a good meme isn't just a funny picture or video on the Internet. Sometimes it's a different way of looking at things, of thinking about them, of framing them. I think the FBI's continued attempts to get backdoors in iPhones deserves something like that.

Gotta do what the health authorities say

from here and here (source article)

I mean, of course cybercrime is going to increase when criminals are stuck at home. There aren't many other ways they can rip people off from the comfort of their own homes.

Seems to be going dark down there

found on Memedroid

Could incognito mode thwart the Feds? Maybe. There's certainly some question about whether they're willing to go deeper rather than just scratching the surface.

Who peeps on the watchers?

from here

Apparently having a fetish can override your good sense and cause you to take frankly ridiculous risks like trying to perv on people inside FBI headquarters. How anyone thinks they won't get caught doing that is beyond me.

The real FBI will log you without telling you

found on Memebase

The party on top is probably not the FBI, but you never know when the FBI is really logging you so it's probably good to get that warning from time to time as a reminder.