Friday, May 25, 2018

We are never getting back together

from here

If that is the way multiple companies are going to approach the GDPR (not only have multiple used dating-related phrases, multiple have literally asked "Are we breaking up?"), they don't deserve your data. You can do better.

All devices are smart devices if you're dumb enough

found on Sizzle

I'm starting to think there's a correlation between the amount of smart devices there are in the world and the amount of stupid people.

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Since counting is obviously not one of their strengths

from here

I mean, the only other explanation for the FBI's grossly overstated figures is that they were lying. However, given those two possibilities, Hanlon's razor insists that the most likely explanation is that they can't count.

Zuckerberg likes that you cared

found on Izismile

If you ever plot against Mark Zuckerberg, it probably wouldn't be a good idea to use Facebook Messenger. Just saying.

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

No wonder security feels like a chore

from here

As a bachelor, I frequently eat food out of the pot or casserole dish it was cooked in to reduce the amount of work involved in cleaning up afterwards. It may sound lazy but honestly, most innovations are designed to make our lives easier, so why get hung up on doing things that are unnecessary?

Now that I've realized how much time and effort is going into applying updates relative to how much benefit I'm getting out of those apps, I think maybe I should be applying the same philosophy to keeping apps that I do to using dishes. Reduce as much as possible.

Could you knock?

found on Img Flip

The bathroom is the last bastion of privacy - the one place where no one tries to claim privacy is dead.

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

I shall hug him and pet him and call him Rootkit

from here and here

If you're wondering what packet sniffing has to do with rootkits - that's one of the things the original one did.

Nobody is falling for that one. Nobody

found on Meme XYZ

I've seen the first panel before. It's neat that people are building new security memes out of old security memes.

Monday, May 21, 2018

That was unusually helpful of them

from here

I don't know about you, but malware writers helping out sounds awesome. More of that, please.

Is there a #MeToo for airline passengers?

found on Meme Base

I've certainly gotten a disturbing pat down on the front of my trousers before when the wand supposedly false alarmed on my zipper. This was before enhanced pat downs went into effect and before agents were given the special training on how to deal with that area.

I imagine many people in that sort of situation don't even consider raising a stink about it. I know I didn't. The TSA are the authorities in an airport, so who would you report them to? And even if you did, how could you know for sure you wouldn't risk missing your flight? We probably shouldn't think of the violations as just part of the price of flying but I think to a large extent we probably do anyway.

I think the TSA has always had creepers in it. It's a job where ordinary folks are given extraordinary power over other people and sexual assault is very much about power so it kinda seems like a perfect fit.

Friday, May 18, 2018

Gee it would be a shame if that got logged somewhere

from here and here

It's amazing the kinds of things some web developers think they can leave in the URL.

The best keepers of secrets

found on I Can Has Cheezburger

Of course some pets can talk. I'm pretty sure parrots aren't the kind of pet you want if you keep a lot of secrets. I wonder how pirates kept them from spilling the beans.

Apparently this image was once available on merchandise you could buy, but unfortunately it no longer seems to be at the site mentioned at the bottom of the image (unless it's a page in one of the books).

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Securus? More like "Secure us!"

from here

I know that no system is breach-proof, that all systems are capable of being compromised, but I also think that if you can't or won't put in the necessary effort to protect the data you collect then you shouldn't be collecting it in the first place. As the saying goes:
If you collect it, you must protect it

It doesn't sound like Securus was prepared to do that at all.

I've always wanted to get into movies

found on Imgur


Wednesday, May 16, 2018

That doesn't seem too sharp

from here

Are people using hedgehogs to hijack planes? I mean I suppose some monster out there might abuse one and use it as a weapon, but why single out hedgehogs and not the larger, spikier version? Even when you look at the actual list supplied by the airline there's nothing obvious that would cover porcupines, even though large groups of other animals are.


Maybe human privacy will come in the next update

found on I Can Has Cheezburger

I kind of echo the sentiment in the picture. I'm glad Google is taking privacy seriously, I just wish it was ours.

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Just show your ID and you too can be 'anonymous'

from here (source article)

So the card will have a number. Sites will need to check that number to verify you're actually allowed to view porn. There will have to be a central registry of valid card numbers for sites to check against. Shop keepers will have to send that number to the central registry as part of the 'activation' process (much like pre-paid credit cards).

And how will you be paying for that today? With your in-no-way-anonymous payment card because that's how you buy everything because it's so convenient? I thought so. Have fun with your porny paper trail, pervert.

Someone is pretending to be me

found on Funny Junk

Now this poor pooch is going to have to figure out how to get a credit freeze.

Monday, May 14, 2018

It seems like such a miner thing

from here

Just one of the unintended consequences of the crypto-currency craze that's been going on for the past few years. I feel sorry for the gamers who have to pay higher prices for graphics cards because of the high demand from crypto-currency miners who want to repurpose the cards for mining.

Do you know a threat when you see it?


Watch on YouTube

Traditionally the Darwin awards require that the award winner's genes be removed from the gene-pool, so people who have already had kids are normally not eligible to win. This innovative family nearly demonstrated a way to do an end run around those rules by taking their kids with them to the great beyond. I have to wonder if those people are fit to be parents if they're dumb enough to put their kids in that kind of danger. Your car represents a barrier that keeps the dangers away. Stay inside of it in this sort of situation.

I'm also struck by how people who speak other languages have adopted the English phrase "what the fuck" into their every day vernacular.

Friday, May 11, 2018

You may wind up getting a lot more familiar with GPS tracking

from here

How ironic would it be if, in stealing a GPS tracked phone from someone demonstrating the technology, the thief winds up having to wear a GPS tracker of their own?

Yeah but you didn't want vulnerable water, did you?

found on Acid Cow

The things that will need updating (and the actions that will interrupt) are just going to get weirder and weirder.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

The future of telephone scams - "Powered By Google"

from here

I think this might actually be the real story behind why Google Duplicity-I-mean-Duplex was designed to trick people into thinking they were talking to a real person - because the people making it were too busy trying to see if they could that they didn't stop to think if they should.

And I'm pretty sure this technology will eventually enable the automation of telephone scams, which won't be good for anybody (other than the scammers).

Meanwhile in opposite world...

found on Meme Base

It's amazing what kind of security folk tales people choose to believe.

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

It's easy when nobody calls you

from here

Watching you, listening to you, tracking your location - imagine where the NSA would be today if mobile phones never caught on.

Forget the password, I can't even remember the rules

posted to Instagram by Adam.The.Creator

NIST may have changed their recommendations, but it's going to be a long time before we see the end of ridiculous password policies.

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Too lazy to uninstall?

from here

I can't imagine how anyone would accept a 92% false alarm rate. I've worked in the FaceRec industry and it's hard to get people to buy something where the alarms are right 92% of the time, never mind something where they're wrong 92% of the time. I kind of wish we could have found customers like this.

The quickest whistleblower

found on Meme Base

The NSA is notoriously secretive. Sharing details about them on Facebook probably isn't what they had in mind when they offered an interview and now they know you don't have the right stuff to be a spy.

Monday, May 7, 2018

They couldn't possibly mess that up too

from here

Thanks to @gotasrt4 for boiling the issue of hacking back down into one of the most important questions.

Figuring out who to strike back at is a heck of a lot more complicated than just protecting your stuff, and if you can't do the latter I certainly wouldn't trust you to do the former.

Finally, "random" you can count on

found on Imgur

If the random number generator they use in the lottery was this reliable, I'd be rich.

If I could put money on the TSA continuing to be racist jerks don't even know there's a difference between Muslims and Sikhs, I'd be rich there too.

Friday, May 4, 2018

LOVEINT is in the air

from here

Oh Facebook. Either your data is meant to help people find love in the creepiest way imaginable, or it's not. Please make up your mind.

Considering all the things Facebook has pulled over the years, the idea of turning it into a dating site gives me the chills, and the fact that they don't like their employees doing precisely that seems to suggest at least some at Facebook feel the same way.

May the 4th recovery attempt be with you

found on Intuitive Digital

No backups or updates is a recipe for a disaster you can't recover from no matter how many times you try.

Thursday, May 3, 2018

I hope they didn't fall off the back of a truck

from here

Thanks to Asher Wolf for raising awareness of this apparent data breach. It's an interesting state of affairs. On the one hand they have no evidence the data was retrieved by anyone so they assume it wasn't, while on the other hand they have no evidence the data was destroyed so they assume it was. It's amazing what people can do with no evidence.

What could possibly go wrong?

found on Piximus

This does not instill confidence in the capabilities of the authorities. It's bad enough when tools designed for defense are misused in ways no one intended, but tools designed for attack as well? I can only assume that applicants to the police academy in Joburg undergo a similar screening as the ones in the US do - no high IQs allowed.

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Who needs a backdoor when you can just offer to 'deliver' things?

from here

I've honestly never even heard of delivering packages to people's cars, before. I suppose it would be useful for people who live in their vehicle, but still, the idea of giving Amazon the keys to open your car when you're not there and deliver packages is just too sketchy for me.

The law of conservation of privacy

found on Memedroid

This meme made me think (GASP!). Maybe privacy isn't dead or even dying. Maybe privacy isn't even disappearing. Maybe privacy is simply being concentrated into the hands of an elite few. So not only do we have worsening wealth inequality, we also have worsening privacy inequality.

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

TL;DR for GDPR

from here

I've already received a number of these and I'm expecting more real soon now.

Sweet dreams or privacy policy nightmares?

available to purchase on Amazon

While you can certainly find all sorts of shirts that mention GDPR, I never would have expected to find it on a pillow. I suppose people are supposed to find the GDPR comforting, though, so why not?

Thanks to Jules Polonetsky for tweeting about this.