Bad Vibes

from here and here

It's a fantastical story, and kind of hard to believe, but apparently there are those who think a chess grand master cheated using high-tech anal beads. The theory appears to be that, using the remote controlled vibrations of the beads, an accomplice would have sent messages to the wearer instructing them what move to make. 

Putting the arse in arsenal and vice versa

from here

While jokes about weapons of ass destruction write themselves, the news story about the man who "slipped and fell" on a WWII mortar makes it clear that the doctors were not in a joking mood. As funny as it seems to us as readers, they had to consider the possibility that it was live ammunition and posed a real threat to everyone there. Even fake weapons need to be treated with care and respect because you never know how the circumstances might change. 

The filthiest of lucres

from here

I couldn't find anything that conclusively said that the digital currency was a cryptocurrency, or that the power generated by these special toilets actually contributed to the creation of the digital coins, but that's certainly an easy inference to make in 2021.

Take a bite out of your own crime

from here

Was it some kind of anti-theft sausage? Clearly it had tamper-evident properties.

If only all crooks could give themselves away like that.

How not to improve your reputation

from here

It seems to me there should be a way to authenticate court orders so that things like this can't happen.

Hang in there, $10s and $20s

from here

Using an hydraulic spreader to open ATMs is a pretty clever trick. Buying the thing on eBay is even better. Who needs shady dark web marketplaces when you've got eBay?

Don't let your IoT security spoil

from here

Even if browser-based interfaces do make it easier to control such devices, couldn't they be restricted to the local network? Why expose them to the entire world wide web?

Back then there were 'no graphics' involved

from here

Yes, there is in fact a difference between steganography and stenography.

And also, yes, you now have a steganography pun.

Please stay on the line. Someone will be with you shortly

from here

Well, maybe just a little one

from here

Leave it to Trend Micro to make what appeared to be an isolated incident into a "little trend". I can't imagine the browser history harvesting was all that important for security if they're willing to remove it.

Polly was old-school

from here

Don't get left out of the loop

from here

I have to admit, I'm actually kind of proud of this pun. Both because of the cleverness (I got both loops and whorls in there) and because it actually caused someone to learn something about fingerprints right in the comments of the Imgur post.

Encryption backdoors wouldn't be very bright

from here

Oh those poor FBI agents. What will they do if they can't break into everyone's cell phones?

Maybe exactly the same thing they did before everyone had cell phones?

Nothing was the yeast they could do

from here

The story of how badly Panera Bread dropped the ball on this vulnerability report is truly something to behold.

Malware naming is the real joke

from here

I suspect the name Mirai was based on the character from the Naruto anime/manga, but it translates to "the future" which I further suspect is not the name the anti-malware industry would have selected if they'd have known. Either that, or there are some lame punsters in the anti-malware industry and this is exactly the joke they were making with that name.

It's the principle of the thing

from here

Have you ever felt like maybe the Principle of Least Privilege could be misinterpreted, and maybe that's why it never caught on?

Achy Breaky Pacemakers

from here

One of the lessons from this story is that security problems aren't going to simply go away just because they're inconvenient for the business. You will eventually have to deal with it and I can't think of many ways of dealing with it that are worse than waiting a year to issue a warning about problems with pacemakers.

A kernel of truth

from here

If it's too steamy they might squeal, so you should think about buttering them up.

Now Go Gobble Them Up

from here

Your Access Is Disabled

from here

It's hard for some characters to get the respect they deserve when they get labelled as invalid. Our security would be better if we could be more inclusive of such characters.