There's someone you should never tell your secrets to

from here and here (image source)

Sometimes it can be surprisingly easy to give the game away by saying too much.

In this case, however, the nuclear bunker was no longer really a secret, so the sign is just a little bit of false advertising.

Cheap, Fast, or Secure... Pick Two

from here

So it appears that Zoom's "end-to-end" encryption only counts as end-to-end if you consider Zoom's servers themselves to be one of the ends. Specifically, according to their own blog, they have software running on their servers acting like legitimate communication endpoints so that they can send the unencrypted data to devices that don't support their end-to-end encryption. It's a backdoor dressed up as a compatibility feature. We have to take them at their word that this backdoor will never be used by misbehaving employees and that various governments will never or can never compel them to use it to reveal our communications.

They could have (and arguably should have) simply told customers they can't use the end-to-end encryption feature when participants are using devices that don't support it, but they chose to compromise the communication channel instead so that users could maintain a (now false) sense of security.

The Not-So-Safe-Mode

from here (source article)

It kind of violates ones expectations when Safe Mode isn't safe, and it makes one start to wonder why AV doesn't run in that mode when malware clearly does. That doesn't sound safe at all. Not even a little bit.

If you want your device blocked by ads...

from here (source article)

I'm not sure how stealthy it can be if it's showing that many ads, but that's a heck of a ballsy move to pretend to be an ad blocker while putting ads in all the things.

Inconceivable!

from here

Apparently simply claiming the machines weren't connected to the Internet wasn't enough to make it so.

Maybe it stopped him from not chewing

from here (image source)

The trick to making an effective deterrent is to make the thing you want to deter against appear unpalatable. As a kid, the cuffs of my pants were treated with hot sauce to deter the dog from grabbing them and yanking on them. It was not effective. I think some dogs are too dumb to be deterred.

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black

found on Meme Center

Imagine being told by the company that leaked all 3 billion of their user accounts that your password isn't strong enough. Who are you to judge other people's security, Yahoo!?

Low profile fail

from here (image source)

Seems pretty much like the opposite of discreet if you ask me.

Just show your ID and you too can be 'anonymous'

from here (source article)

So the card will have a number. Sites will need to check that number to verify you're actually allowed to view porn. There will have to be a central registry of valid card numbers for sites to check against. Shop keepers will have to send that number to the central registry as part of the 'activation' process (much like pre-paid credit cards).

And how will you be paying for that today? With your in-no-way-anonymous payment card because that's how you buy everything because it's so convenient? I thought so. Have fun with your porny paper trail, pervert.

HackingTeam Are Whitehats? Inconceivable!

from here (source tweet)

The originating tweet is a reference to news about Hacking Team. I'm starting to wonder if the hacker community has jumped the shark when malware writers who sell their wares to oppressive government regimes are considered "whitehat". Have we forgotten that in the old-school cowboy movies, where the whitehat/blackhat concept came from, the good guys wore the white hats and the bad guys wore the black hats?

What If We Sprayed This On Attackers?

from here (source image)

They say that in every failure there's an opportunity - if this 'deterrent' has the opposite effect that it's supposed to, there are ways we can work with that.

Won't Be Telling You My Secrets Anytime Soon

from here (source image)

Did no one think maybe it wasn't a good idea to point the way to the secret nuclear bunker?

Nobody Tell The Criminals, OK?

from here (source image)

At first I was thinking that the only thing this sign was missing was a picture of the undercover officer(s), but then it occurred to me: what if there are no officers?

Deterrence - You're Doing It Wrong

from here (source image)

Not only am I not afraid of a cat that fat, I'm not afraid of a dog that can't catch a cat that fat.

Well Perhaps In Certain Areas

from here (source image)

I suppose there are areas, or perhaps bands, where 100% of the UV spectrum actually is blocked - however, there are also gaping holes where light can go through unimpeded. This is pretty much the case with all claims of 100% protection - there's always a way around that they didn't think of.

Anti-Virus Testing Fail

from here

I imagine I've already done something like this before, but if people keep repeating the mistake of studying AV effectiveness by using VirusTotal then I guess this needs repeating too.

For those who aren't yet aware: VirusTotal is a service that allows you to submit suspected malware samples and have them scanned with over 40 different anti-malware products to see if any of those products thinks your sample really is something bad. Unfortunately, it's not feasible for VirusTotal to use all the detective capabilities of those anti-malware products, so if you try to study the effectiveness of anti-malware products by using VirusTotal your results are going to be profoundly misleading.

With Instructions Like These, Who Needs Enemies?

from here (source image)

Thanks to Michal Špaček for finding and sharing this little bit of encryption nonsense. This was from a website designed to share 'expert' knowledge with the world. Unfortunately, as is so often the case in security, the ones sharing the knowledge didn't know what the heck they were talking about.

Someone Could Guess That? Inconceivable!

from here

Are you still using that as a password? Stop that! It's the most popular password in the world, which means it's the easiest to guess.

(Inspiration)