The first one was better

found on Izismile

It seems that once upon a time America actually appreciated and valued the idea of privacy. If people want to make America great again, they should go back to that.

It's Not Malware It's Alternative Software shirt

Product Page

When I added the phrase "It's Not Malware It's Alternative Software" to a picture of Sean Spicer four years ago, I hadn't intended to create a catch phrase, but apparently that's precisely what I did. Enjoy this memetic evolution.

I wonder what other memes I've spawned without realizing it.

Plain-text shows the plain truth

from here and here

Scammers don't even bother to hide the truth when it comes to plain-text email. On the flip-side, however, they're often much better at generating the plain-text portion of their HTML emails than the businesses they're trying to impersonate.

On an unrelated note, I wonder if OK Scammer could catch on the way OK Boomer did. I know I want to direct that kind of derision at scammers - how about you?

Won't someone bring back the idiot box?

from here

An unpopular opinion, perhaps, but every "smart" device has a computer in it. Adding a computer to anything increases the attack surface of that thing, as well as adding a host of preventative care chores that simply will not get done by the vast majority of smart device owners.

And who knows, maybe this can become a catch phrase that helps steer us all in a better direction.

Choosing a memorable password? What could possibly go wrong?

from here and here

It's absurd to use one of your most well know phrases as your passphrase, and yet the old advice about passwords/passphrases clearly stipulates that it should be something that's easy for you to remember. What's more memorable than your own personal catch phrase?

Thanks to Graham Cluley for writing and tweeting about it.

Privacy Dies In The Fine Print

from here and here

If democracy dies in darkness, then privacy dies in the fine print of those countless agreements you accept without really thinking about it in order to use things like Facebook, Google, Twitter, your Roomba, your smart TV, etc.

As long as you're getting something for free you don't look too closely at it. Don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth, after all - but maybe you should.

And yes, just to be abundantly clear, I'm proposing a new catch phrase:

Privacy dies in the fine print

Security Is Incomplete Without U mug

Product Page

Apparently "Security is incomplete without U" is a catch phrase I've never heard of before. It's pretty clever though, and it highlights the fact that people are an integral part of security, no matter how much some might want to wave their hand and ignore the impact people have.

You might want to keep them out of your bedroom

from here

This is something that probably bears repeating A LOT. Those smart speakers and smart phones and smart watches and other devices that obey your commands aren't simply computers, there are also people listening in to help the computers improve. All the major brands (Amazon's Alexa, Google Assistant, and Apple's Siri) of digital assistants are made of people, at least in part.

And honestly "Digital assistants are made of people" seems like it could make a pretty good catch phrase.

Because computers don't know the difference

found on Short Woman

Maybe you've heard that phrase before, maybe not, but it's a good phrase to repeat whenever anyone says they want a backdoor that only they can use.

Without the service what you have is a paper weight

from here

I've been thinking about this for a while, especially with regards to what the vendor is actually selling you. You think they're selling you a device? No, they're selling you a service that provides you with some convenience. You have to use their proprietary thing in order to make use of that service. You interact with the service through that thing - maybe also through your browser, but also through that proprietary thing if you want to get the benefits of the service.

You interact with a hydration tracking service by using a supposed smart water bottle supplied by the hydration tracking service provider. You get the benefits of the sleep tracking service by laying your head on a pillow-shaped sensor linked to that service. You get the convenience of app-enabled entry into your home by replacing the lock on your door with a device controlled by servers in some far away place.

So since smart devices aren't really smart and aren't really the device you think they are but rather special purpose dumb-terminals connected to a remote service, I figured a catch phrase might be a good way to clear things up. And since the "There is no spoon" model worked so well in the past, I give you

There are no smart devices, just digital services that have physical avatars

IoT: The 'S' is for security (merchandise)

Women's T-Shirts

Men's T-Shirts

I've seen the catch phrase "The S in IoT stands for security" a few times, but now a derivation of that appears on t-shirts, hoodies, mugs, and stickers over on Redbubble

The Internet Never Forgets (merchandise)

product page

So I'm trawling through my normal sources of funny things when a phrase pops into my head:

The Internet Never Forgets

I thought it would make a pretty good catch phrase so I googled to see if someone else had already come up with it and lo and behold many people had. I decided to highlight this particular example because I'd very much like to encourage people walk around wearing this reminder to everyone that if you make a mistake on the Internet, that mistake is permanent. The Internet may seem like a great place to share things, but be careful you don't share something you'll later regret.

There's no such thing as too big to fail for databases

found on FRSecure

Not to long ago I tweeted:

That which is collected will eventually be breached

Large breaches like the one at Equifax prove this point in spades, but it really goes for anything. We can't stop all the breaches, so eventually one is going to succeed and the data we (whoever we happens to be) have collected will be released.

The best way to deal with this is to not collect sensitive data in the first place. The second best way is to not keep it for very long. The more data you have the bigger a deal such a breach becomes, so while some banks may be too big to fail it's actually the opposite that holds true for databases.

You can't go out on the Internet with all your bits showing

from here

I'm proposing the phrase

Data is naked without encryption

as a catch phrase to help get non-technical people to appreciate the need for encryption. They may have heard and repeated the "I've got nothing to hide" meme without realizing the irony of saying that while wearing clothes. This phrase references the clothing rebuttal to the 'nothing to hide' idea (which I sometimes express as "Then why are you wearing pants?") but brings it back around to data instead of leaving it in awkward personal territory, and also offers constructive advice (adopt encryption) instead of just being judgmental.

I haven't done many catch phrases over the years, but who knows, maybe this one will catch on.

A gross lack of security hygiene

from here (source image)

You've probably heard passwords compared to underwear before (keep them hidden, don't share them, change them often), but maybe not quite like this.

Passwords are like underwear: They shouldn't stick to the wall

What do you think, could this one catch on?

Minimize data breaches with this one weird trick

from here

Seems like a pretty good catch phrase, actually. Repeat it enough around your decision-makers and maybe they'll actually scale back their plans to gather all the data.

How Random Is That?

from here (source image)

Random number generators (RNGs) are kind of an important part of many cryptosystems, in part because their unpredictability makes their output unguessable (which is a useful property to have for, say, an encryption key).

(And yes, I have spent time with people wearing shirts/jackets that read "My other ride is a Harley")

Longer Passwords Make Stronger Passwords

found on the Boston University website

I don't know about you but

Longer Passwords Make Stronger Passwords

seems like a pretty good catch phrase to me, even beyond the Keep Calm meme above, and good catch phrases (especially ones that also provide good advice) bear repeating.

I Fought The Math (merchandise)

I Fought The Math - Women's T-Shirts by secmeme

I Fought The Math - Men's T-Shirts - by secmeme

For cryptanalysts and government officials alike, you can't beat math. Hopefully we can someday reach a point where not only are our products so secure that this will actually apply to them but also that government officials will actually accept that state of affairs and not wage a war on math.

As usual, the CafePress store has zero markup on prices and the Zazzle store has a 5% markup (because that's the lowest number they'll accept). There's more than just t-shirts, too, and if there's something you'd like to see this on that I didn't include, just drop me a line and let me know and I'll see what I can do.

There Is No Cloud (sticker)

found on sticker mule

Thanks to Chris Watterston for turning the "There Is No Cloud" meme into this great looking sticker that you can buy and (I assume) stick to your laptop.