Thursday, December 31, 2015

Security Is Not Clowning Around

from here (source image)

I don't know about you but I feel a bit a bit more tolerant of security personnel when I see them giving a hard time to someone who deserves it. Maybe that's why Border Patrol is such a popular TV show.

I Spy With My Covert Eye

found on Dump A Day

What would you do if you found this? I mean, it might not be the previous tenant, it might be the property owner. I think this kind of invasion of privacy might warrant a call to the authorities.

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

I Left My Bike Where That Hole Is

from here (source image)

It seems to me that even if that thing were screwed into something harder to pull out of the ground it would still just be screwed (or bolted) on and thus easy to remove. These bike racks provide security theatre only, not actual security - not that bike racks offer much in the way of security anyway.

Do You Even Know How A Barrier Works?

found on Funny Dog Site

If you don't understand how a preventative control works, how can you expect to know if it will do what you need it to do?

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

At Least You Can Rest Your Hand On It

from here (source image)

I suppose if you think only your hand can protect your eyes from the sun then at least you have a convenient place to rest it while you go about your day one-handed.

Troll Theft Prevention

found on The Art Of Trolling

Hey, if we can have troll science, why not troll theft prevention?

Monday, December 28, 2015

Stop Looking At My Bum, You Bum Looker

from here (source image)

If you ever wondered how the privacy in a 2 toilet bathroom could get any worse than having 2 toilets side by side without a divider, this is how.

Indecent Exposure In 3...2...1...

found on We Know Memes

I'm not sure what the authorities think they're doing here (saving a man who ate too much holiday turkey?) but the outcome is easy to predict - it won't be good and it will be their fault.

Friday, December 25, 2015

Someone's On The Naughty List For Life

from here

I'm torn about whether or not we'd have been better off not knowing about elf on the shelf. On the one hand it's a recent construction that actually makes kids more desensitized to surveillance, but on the other hand it's better to know about surveillance than be blind to it.

They See You When You're Sleeping

found on I Can Has Cheezburger

As the years go by, the idea of Santa seeing everything you do just doesn't seem to get any less creepy.

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Where'd The Cookies Go?

from here (source image)

I hope no one has figured out how to make camouflage milk yet.

Snowmen Don't Get Privacy So Neither Do You

found on The Meta Picture

Maybe we should be building shelters for our snowmen, or at least putting more clothes on them.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

I Just Infected Your Brain With Doubt

from here (source image)

It may be a freakishly unlikely event, but people are terrible at gauging the risk of bad things happening, so now that you've seen a picture of a crocodile hiding under a car the idea of it will be stuck in your mind and you'll check it the way you check behind the shower curtain in your own bathroom.

Fence Hopping Not Advised

found on The Chive

Yeah, I don't think anyone's going to try to use acrobatic skills to breach this barrier. A heavy cutting tool or a vehicle, however, would probably do the trick. It's an imposing looking fence, but if someone is determined enough to use a tool, they'll probably get in.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Before We Break Your Bones

from here (source image)

The authorities are undoubtedly more effective when they coordinate with each other. Maybe not as intimidating when they look so much like The Supremes, however.

That Just Seems Like Overkill

found on Jokideo

I'm guessing this is more for the sake of deterrence than to tell people there's an actual sniper enforcing a traffic law (although that tower in the distance would be a good roost for one).

Monday, December 21, 2015

MOM! Encryption Is In My Way Again!

from here (source article)

More and more I think the FBI should stand for the federal bureau of incompetence. If the feds can't find terrorist chatter when it's out in the open, how can they possibly hope to find it when they get access to encrypted messages? Encryption is just a scapegoat to cover their incompetent asses.

By the way, this isn't about the San Bernardino shooters (who were believed to have discussed jihad publicly but didn't), this is from an earlier incident.

There Is No Unbeatable Defense

found on the Vegetables For Dessert web comic

Imagine if the Greeks had had Kool-Aid man when they laying siege to the walled city of Troy. We might never have had the trojan horse.

Friday, December 18, 2015

More Smart Junk For The Internet Of Chindogu

from here

Are you like me? Do you often find yourself wondering why there's such a thing as a smart BBQ? or a smart kettle? or a smart water bottle? or a smart face mask? It's amazing the kind of junk people will try to pack 'smarts' into, or the kinds of things that become junk once 'smarts' are packed into them.

When Scam Artists Turn To Arts And Crafts

found on reddit

Those crafty scammers are getting their message into all sorts of things.

However, it turns out that if you want socks like these, you can actually get them from the Sophos store. I guess it's not just the scammers that are crafty.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Are You Sure You Want To Send Money To Nigeria?

from here

Inspired by what is purportedly a real life account. It's been suggested that Matthew Croxton should find a better employer - could you be that employer?

Life Imitates Stock Photography?

found on The Meta Picture

Do you think this kid would have worn that outfit if he knew how much actual hackers deride hacker stock photos?

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Talk About Filthy Lucre

from here (source image)

I suppose it could also be an anti-theft measure. I certainly wouldn't take that money from him after it's been in there.


This parody of Citizen Four by Alisha Brophy and Scott Miles tells the tale of Elvin Snowdin, a whistle-blower for the Northern Surveillance Agency. It just goes to show how much impact Edward Snowden is still having on the public, years later.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Which Group Of Fanboys Is Right?

from here

I can't be the only person who noticed this, can I?

Deception Detection

excerpt of the infographic on the Randommization blog

In theory, your eyes, your body language, your word choices, etc. can all give away the fact that you're trying to keep the truth hidden. The linked infographic describes some of the ways people think they can detect such deception.

This isn't the full infographic here, by the way, it's just one small part of a much larger infographic which I could not adequately reproduce using picasa web albums (which resizes images that are too big). According to both Buzzfeed and Jezebel the full infographic is supposed to be here, but as of writing apparently something's busted in the series of tubes that is the internet because where the infographic is is just a broken frame pointing to AWS. It's a good thing this copy can be found on the Randommization blog

Monday, December 14, 2015

What If We Sprayed This On Attackers?

from here (source image)

They say that in every failure there's an opportunity - if this 'deterrent' has the opposite effect that it's supposed to, there are ways we can work with that.

Maybe You Should Be More Careful About What You Post Online

found on The Meta Picture

Yes, it's the holiday season. Which holiday season? Why the one with a fat guy who stalks and judges you, of course.

Friday, December 11, 2015

What Did I Do To Deserve This?

from here (source image and caption)

Thanks to Andrew Blake for doing all the heavy lifting on this. Not only identifying a terrific captured moment, but also coming up with a great caption in the form of the "that face you make when.." meme.

Hope Your Burglars Can Read

found on Reddit

This is basically a "Beware Of Dog" sign reimagined as a story instead of a 3 word warning. Is it a better deterrent that way? Only if the would-be burglars don't case the joint and find out there are no dogs.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

It's As Easy As Dropping Off The Face Of The Planet

from here

Will the real Satoshi Nakamoto please stand up? We're running out of theories about who it could be.

Are Those Really The Only Things That Need Protecting?

found on Imgur

That's great, and I applaud whatever university thought of this (assuming that is the true source of this photo) but I'm pretty sure that's not a complete list of things that could use protection in that context.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Could I Just Get His Bitcoin Wallet Instead?

from here (source image)

So now they've really found Satoshi Nakamoto? For real this time? No possibility of getting it wrong?

I won't hold my breath.

Savage Chickens On Privacy

found on Savage Chickens

One day in the not so distant or improbable future, something like this may be the only way people experience privacy - as some abstract concept old folks rant about. If we aren't careful to preserve it, it may become as extinct as the dodo bird.

Be sure to check out Doug Savage's other sticky-note cartoons (yes, that's why the background is that colour).

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

The Curse Of King Putz' Tomb

from here (source image)

Look closely. Can you figure out how he trapped himself?

Low Tech ATM Cracking

found imgur

So apparently a chinese woman became so upset at an ATM when it ate her card that she ripped it open with her bare hands. I like how the security people stood well back from her as she went to town on that ATM. They didn't want to be her next target. There's even CCTV footage of the event:

On the one hand you could say that busting past the ATM's defenses was possible because it was "Made in China", but on the other hand I'm pretty sure you could say the same thing about her. That's one determined lady.

Monday, December 7, 2015

Home Brewed Insecurity

from here (source image)

Just to be clear, I have no idea if security is the reason this product's Kickstarter campaign got suspended, but on the list of things that have no business being connected to a network, teapots are definitely on the list (it's not like you can pour yourself a tea over the network, you have to be there).

You'll Never Guess Which Kitty I Am

found on i can has cheezburger

On the one hand, this disguise make spy kitty look very suspicious, but on the other hand, it also conceals enough of features that you wouldn't be able to recognize who the actual cat is.

Friday, December 4, 2015

Fart Noises Will Be The Least Of Your Concerns

from here (source image)

And I thought the men's room in the metro toronto convention center was bad because their shiny, polished floor was reflective enough that you could see the junk of the man in the next stall. I suspect  you wouldn't need reflective floors in the restroom depicted above.

Get Bigger, Longer Lasting Spells

found on funday 24

I guess they're offering some sort of wand creme - which sounds just about as legit as the crap in normal enlargement spam.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Does The Mask Stop You From Wearing Glasses?

from here (source image)

I just can't get enough of those white guys in balaclavas hacking badly.

Safety First

found on spanck

Tell me again why they even bother wearing camouflage gear? So that the enemy can't see them coming? Clearly the decision-maker who dreamed this up this safety belt idea didn't understand the context of the problem they were tasked with solving. That invariably results in failure - in this case, the high-visibility reflective belts actually make soldiers less safe when facing armed combatants.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Does The Basket Bandit Want Fries With That?

from here (source image)

There's a good chance this gentleman is actually not trying to hold up a McDonalds, but when you consider that robbers have tried wrapping their faces in duct tape or drawing on them with markers, using a laundry basket as a mask doesn't seem so unrealistic.

Protecting The Right Things

found on the blogitude blog

Are you protecting the right things? Are you sure? Maybe you should double check that your spending your time and energy protecting the things that can't be replaced instead of ignoring them in favour of things that are eminently replaceable.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

General Santa Would Approve

from here (source image)

The source image is, of course, photoshopped. The police were not carrying chocolate chip cookies the size of shields.

They were actually being attacked with milk, however, so maybe they should reconsider cookie shields in future.

Security Is In High Demand

found on izismile

This is what happens when security facilities aren't good enough to meet the public's demand - the public finds a way.

Monday, November 30, 2015

Someone Can't Find The Hole

from here (source image)

I'm not sure who, but someone is clearly doing something wrong.

Operations Security Bling By @Jessysaurusrex

tweeted by Jessy Irwin

Unfortunately I don't know the story behind Ms. Irwin's famous OpSec necklace (so famous people have been known to recognize her by it, ironically enough), but I imagine one could assemble something similar out of one of the many sets of alphabetic necklace charms available for purchase online.

And if you don't know what OpSec means, now's as good a time as any to learn.

Friday, November 27, 2015

Choose Your Shopping Battles Wisely

from here (source image)

I don't think Black Friday or Boxing Day sales have devolved to this level yet, but there have certainly been injuries and even some deaths, so be careful out there.

Surveillance Dog Has His Eye On You

found on i can has cheezburger

This is probably as good at deterring burglary as a surveillance camera, too.

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Maybe You Should Wear Some Brown Trousers Too

from here (source image)

I can only assume this person evaluated the various risks and decided this was the best way to protect what really mattered.