But not about riding it

from here and here (image source)

I don't see any opening except at the top, so I have to assume this bike isn't going anywhere with thieves OR it owner.

Good thing they don't use the hands-on approach

found on Izismile

Gotta find those Internet connected anal beads somehow. 

Heavy duty trucks call for heavy duty locks

from here and here (image source)

This is the first time I've seen such a clean installation of a Master lock on a vehicle. It must be brand new. It's also the first time I've seen a hidden shackle lock used. Normally it's just an ordinary padlock (or in some cases just a sliding lock). Whoever opted for this really went all out.

Too bad the vehicle still has glass windows.

High Security

from here and here (image source)

It'll take a bigger man than me to attempt such a daring robbery. At least during the daylight hours when climbing up that thing makes you into a spectacle. Maybe it'll be better under the cover of darkness.

Or maybe bike thieves will just always prefer the lower hanging fruit (the bikes already on the ground).

Get to know the signs

from here (image source)

If you've never tried to lift one of those signs before you should give it a try. You might be surprised, and you'll probably never use them like this ever again.

The biggest lie in InfoSec

from here and here (image source)

Virtually no one actually takes your privacy and security seriously, except maybe (hopefully) you. When businesses say this they're lying. A company that actually took your privacy and security seriously wouldn't collect your data in the first place and so wouldn't need to placate you with such hollow platitudes, because there wouldn't be a need to mention it in the first place. 

Got Keys?

found on eBaum's World

I'm sure this is really more about the principle of the thing, since the intrinsic value of milk isn't terribly high.

Silence Of The VMs sticker

Product Page

InfoSec, Silence Of The Lambs, and do I detect a hint of Dr. Seuss in the execution? Seems like a great sticker to put on your laptop, honestly. I'm not sure why they always use a water bottle to present stickers. 

They'll take your privacy and security. Seriously.

from here

It seems that when it comes to privacy and security, the government's position seems to be that, instead of it being a right, we have to EARN IT. Of course we never actually will earn it in their eyes, so there's little reason for us to go along with them on this. 

I feel more secure already

found on Reddit

I have mixed feelings about this. There are at least 2 different ways to interpret it.

1. If they can't even get the dog part right then I don't hold out much hope for the security part
2. Maybe this is an example of "You keep what you kill"

They don't stop you from doing the thing, only from getting away with it

from here

It would be more accurate to call the surveillance cameras, but I think society has less tolerance for the concept of surveillance, even though it's going on all around us. Calling them security cameras seems like it's part of our surveillance denialism.

"Security Monitor"

found on Reddit

Wow. It's hard enough putting clothes on a dog or cat. I can't imagine putting a security hoodie on a monitor lizard.

Automated tellers tell too much

from here and here (image source)

I feel like Mary Poppins would have been able to protect her banking information on her own using an umbrella over the shoulder.

Here's one way your bike can bee secure

from here and here (image source)

Just in case the bee infestation isn't enough to deter would-be thieves, there's a perfectly good non-infested bike right beside it that would probably be less of a hassle to steal. 

Convenience vs. Security

from here (image source)

There are those who don't want to admit it, but it often seems like the price of security is paid in lost convenience. It's hard to imagine something that has been made more secure without adding more steps to access it.

How security is sold

found on Reddit

Fostering feelings of insecurity in order to sell security is actually pretty much standard, unfortunately. That's not a good thing, of course, but more of a "funny because it's true" sort of thing. 

Essentially they give you the sickness (fear, uncertainty, doubt) for free, but make you pay for their cure.

Cybersecurity The Few The Proud The Paranoid shirt

Product Page

 

Product Page

Cybersecurity, where a little bit of paranoia is considered a good thing. I wonder if other adversarial professions feel the same way.

Why not both?

from here and here (image source)

Not that anyone is going to ride away on that or anything, but bike security measures are notoriously bad, and that is just about the most public toilet I've ever seen.

Why security measures often fail

from here and here (image source)

 Now if your security measures are such that the wrong paths have less resistance than the right paths, then that's something you need to improve.

Cybersecurity: We Do Precision Guesswork mug

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Hopefully your bosses and colleagues have a sense of humour when you show up to the office with this mug.