The Hidden DANGERS of Peanut Butter

Watch on YouTube

I had no idea one of my favourite foods was so feared by airport security. Glad I've never had a run in with TSA while carrying peanut butter. I wonder if they would let me eat it before going on the plane.

The "All-In-One" Approach

from here and here (image source)

I think a lot of people would be willing if it meant they could get to their destination on time without missing any flights.

Can't be shy if you want to fly

from here and here

I hope you all don't mind biometric surveillance creeping slowly but steadily into your everyday lives, because it sounds like the creeps at the TSA have definitely settled on the creeping strategy.

They are humour impaired

from here and here

I'm surprised people still make this mistake, but you should absolutely not joke with the airport security about bombs or hijacking. You aren't going to like it when they put you in jail. I don't care how funny you think you are, or even how funny you actually are, they won't be laughing.

Glad we finally solved that problem

found on Reddit

This looks like it will be about as effective at stopping terrorists as the TSA is, and it'll cost a lot less money.

Airport Security Is Whack

Watch on YouTube

If you can find the humour in your experiences with the TSA, more power to you. For the rest of us, we'll just have to make do with stand-up comedians' experiences with it.

The reason they couldn't fly into Mordor

found on Reddit

They will take your prescious things, if you're not careful.

Mile high downer

found on iFunny

I'm sure what He-Mans' friend meant to say was that he didn't like people who abuse drugs... like airport security. They're so bad at their job they must be using what they're confiscating.

Are you here for tourism or terrorism?

from here and here

Can you guess where the (presumably) infrequent flyer came from? Why do I presume they're an infrequent flyer? Because you'd have to be to think you could take an explosive on a plane in this day and age.

How did that get in there?

found on Reddit

Honest, officer, I meant to get rid of that before I got here!

Security-related anxiety can play all sorts of tricks on you, and security personnel are in no hurry to make you feel better, unfortunately.

Red Alert?

found on Phun.org

 Yes, a water bottle is just as dangerous as a giant novelty tommy gun.

Every airport screener

found on Imgur

You may be able to opt out of facial recognition, and maybe even body scanners, but when it comes to the pat-down your only way to opt out is to not go in the first place.

One badge to rule them all

found on Piximus

As if they were only interested in your pockets. A TSA screener in an airport seems to have (or at least seems to think they have) all the authority in the world to do and check whatever they like, and they definitely will not stop at just your pockets.

TSA Agents, What's The Funniest Thing You've Found In Someones Luggage?

Watch on YouTube

I guess this is just a text-to-speech engine reading out Reddit posts, but there are still some interesting stories in there.

No glove, no gate love

found on Memedroid

It must be those latex gloves that make it OK to touch people like that. It makes screeners part doctor (and the uniform makes them part cop)

Something doesn't add up

found on Dog House Diaries

Now I wonder what would happen if you had the 3 little containers full of liquid and 1 big container that was empty. Do you think they'd clue in then?

Reducing liquid volume in 3... 2...1...

found on Know Your Meme

If this were me I suspect I'd lose some of my liquid, but it probably wouldn't be enough.

What not to take to the airport

found on Izismile

This woman is going to get secondary screening, tertiary screening, and then whatever screening comes after that. That bag seems tailor made for causing problems at airports.

Airport Security Personnel - Not even dogs have faith in them

found on I Can Has Cheezburger Animals

You'd think that the airport, of all places, would be once place where that poor dog could let it's guard down. The dog knows better, though, and now at least that soldier can honestly say his luggage was never left unattended.

The TSA took your granny away-ay

from here

Who does this to a granny, especially on Mother's Day? Not even getting your career from a pizza box explains this kind of behaviour.