Someone needs a longer sentence

from here and here

I've heard of individuals being threatened and harassed online before, but a dictionary? That takes a special sort of irrationality, which you'd think would make them extra dangerous, but apparently the judge felt otherwise.

They're supposed to prevent cavities, not make them

from here and here

I can only assume that when these two felons were planning their escape from prison they spent a little too much time fantasizing about what the first thing they'd do when they got out was and not enough time planning how to stay out. I like pancakes as much as anyone, but not enough to go back to jail for.

Double encryption all the way across the drive

from here

I suppose ROT13 isn't quite as good for binary data, so how about ROT128 instead? That way when it's encrypted twice it will just change it back to it's starting form.

The one time you should be a Karen

from here

Honestly, in this one particular context, be a Karen. You're entitled to let technology do the remembering for you.

Live by the privacy violation, die by the privacy violation

from here

It seems to me that if you go around collecting people's data without their consent, you may have it coming when someone collects your data without your consent.

Cops can be harsh art critics

from here

I can see making a fake license plate so that it's harder to identify the car as stolen, but if you're going to steal a car, maybe steal some better art supplies while you're at it.

We're bound to get screwed

from here

Basically ALL Bluetooth devices could be tricked into using a 1 byte encryption key because the protocol designers were trying to comply with "international encryption regulations". 

This is probably what most encryption backdoors would wind up looking like if it became official policy. Most won't be coordinated with any government agency, they'll just some quick and dirty thing that gets jammed in with the hope that no one notices. If/when the Feds come knocking, the developers can just point to it and say there, use that.

Hopefully the crooks get their just desserts

from here

Thanks to Zach Whittaker for raising awareness about the incident, though it took me a bit to find anything else about it online.

I'm sure people without fingers would love gumprint recognition

from here (source article)

People want so desperately to get rid of passwords that they'll grab onto anything, even garbage like this. Biometric authentication is complicated, and the worst enemy of security is complexity. That complexity makes it fragile, and that's not a good property for a security feature to have.

Don't even ask about cookies

from here

Even after all these years, it still bugs me that the meaning of the word "hacker" was corrupted to replace the word "cracker". I wish we could bring the word "cracker" back so that "hacker could shed the cracker-related stigma.

When the lucre isn't filthy enough

from here

It definitely wasn't safe hex

from here

Falling letter, falling dollars, what's the difference?

You'd expect them to be a little more... secure

from here

I know that securities and security aren't the same thing (and that the SEC doesn't actually exchange things), but still, when you have security (or some derivative) in your name, you should try to be a little more secure. Also, of all the governmental agencies that need to be secure, the SEC is pretty high on the list because the data they deal with is clearly quite valuable.

Filter? I don't even know her

from here

No explanation, just a lame pun about bayesian spam filtering that popped into my head.

So read the privacy policy for goodness sake

from here

Thanks to Michael Farrell for finding this gem in the Sleep Number privacy policy about them collecting audio from your room.

Truth in advertising from an advertising giant

from here

Some people like to say that Google is just like Facebook when it comes to privacy, but while Facebook doubles down in the face of breaches, Google takes a different path.

What anti-PoC software would be like

from here

Does anyone actually make anti-PoC software? I mean there's anti-everything-else, so why not anti-PoC?

Redefining 'double-take'

from here (source article)

Can this be real? I wasn't expecting 51% attacks to be feasible, but apparently they are.

They're not very good for running

from here

There be no scanners here

from here

I kinda think I heard this joke (or one very much like it) somewhere else, but I can't find it.