They are humour impaired

from here and here

I'm surprised people still make this mistake, but you should absolutely not joke with the airport security about bombs or hijacking. You aren't going to like it when they put you in jail. I don't care how funny you think you are, or even how funny you actually are, they won't be laughing.

They get everywhere

from here and here

Keeping secrets is hard. It's even harder doing it on a large scale. If there was just a couple of them then it probably wouldn't be that difficult to keep track of them all, but thanks to overclassification there are millions of them. It's no wonder they get everywhere.

Don't let the computer feel insecure

from here and here

Computers with attachment issues is the main reason I dislike SSO.

Roomba, how could you?

found on Izismile

It's a funny pun, but some of those robot vacuums actually do send data about your home back to the manufacturer. 

Those other locks didn't mean anything me

found on Dump A Day

Treat your locks right. Don't abuse them or misuse them or they won't keep you as secure as they could.

Jeff Dunham : Peanut's Password Panic

Watch on YouTube

This is a modern take on Abbott and Costello's famous "Who's on first" routine, and it's giving me ideas.

How security is sold

found on Reddit

Fostering feelings of insecurity in order to sell security is actually pretty much standard, unfortunately. That's not a good thing, of course, but more of a "funny because it's true" sort of thing. 

Essentially they give you the sickness (fear, uncertainty, doubt) for free, but make you pay for their cure.

Security has evolved since then

from here and here

It's not really extinct, of course,  and neither are the dinosaurs (they're birds now).

Demotivational security questions

found on Izismile

Another reason to lie on security questions is so that forgetting your password never forces you to examine how wrong your life turned out. That's not a helpful frame of mind when you're trying to recover your account.

How threat models have changed

found on Izismile

I know we're terrible at estimating risk, but when I see it presented like this I'm not sure if we're getting better over time or worse.

Homeopathic Antivirus

found on Meme Base

Make sure you use honey and not molasses - or else you might slow down your computer.

Encrypted at rest but not in transit

from here (image source)

In this day and age vampires must feel very threatened, so they stay safe and secure in their crypts most of the year. Except today of course. Today is the day they decrypt.

Best of luck

found on Imgur

Dad's password advice

found on Fail Blog

You know why they're called Dad Jokes? It's because you're being pun-ished.

Tweeting from behind the curtain

found on Imgur

Every time I see someone playing hide and seek, they're terrible at hiding. They're either behind a curtain with their feet sticking out the bottom, or they've stuck their head (and only their head) under a couch cushion, or something equally inane.

I like to think the Burlington Police had the same experience with Chris.

Scotty, we need more power!

from here (image source)

I suppose with the ever increasing power requirements of the cryptocurrency mining networks it was only a matter of time before someone got the bright idea of going directly to the source of electricity.

It's good to know how serious he is about privacy

from here and here

I'm not sure how Zuckerberg came to the conclusion that privacy was a laughing matter, but at least he's showing his true colours.

I used to have important data, but...

found on Imgur

What kind of dope would fall for ... oh

found on Meme Base

What kind of dope would fall for it? Maybe the kind that's high as fuck right now.

How to make sure you protect your password

found on Imgur