Malware can't steal your resources if there aren't any left to steal

from here and here

It isn't really new news that Symantec have added crypto mining to Norton 360, but it popped up in my feed and it's still just such a ridiculous thing for a security company to do.

Next thing you know they'll be recording your keystrokes

from here and here (source article)

At first I was like "next they'll be encrypting your drive", but wait, maybe they already have full disk encryption. Then I thought, about carrying out commands sent from a server, but that's kind of part of how some anti-malware works too (especially those that send samples to the company's servers if it's a file that's never been seen before). They also download and execute binaries from remote servers - as part of their update process.

It's getting harder and harder to find a malicious payload that doesn't have a counterpart in security software.

That should max it out nicely

from here (source article)

Most of the people I've encountered over the years have complained that their antivirus uses too much resources and slows their system down.This must be for the alternate reality versions of those people.

Antivirus face mask

Product Page

This meme just keeps evolving. I've seen photos of people wearing an actual antivirus CD as a mask. I've seen cartoon versions of those photos. I've seen those cartoons printed on masks and shirts and mugs, and now we have a face mask that looks like an antivirus CD. 

Trojan Horse Cartoon Poster

Product Page

Peter Norton and John McAfee are real people and I think it's fair to say that the products named after them have missed lots of threats over the years - but maybe not back quite that far.

There's an app for that

found on Quick Meme

This right here is one of the reasons some people call antivirus apps viruses. I remember a time when there were dedicated removal tools for certain viruses (and some other malware). When antivirus software becomes just as difficult to remove from your system as malware, it does not inspire confidence.