I forced a bot to read thousands of press releases ...

from here

It really is hard to believe the things they say in response to controversy have been written by an actual human.

You stole the wrong identity, buddy

found on Reddit

I don't know who originally wrote this, but congrats on finding identity theft kryptonite.

Pull my other leg, Google

from here

Imagine being so tone deaf about tracking that you argue against what others are doing and what users are asking for, all the while apparently oblivious to your own perverse incentives. Of course Google believes tracking is good and necessary - they're paid to believe that.

CCTV Camera Cupcake Toppers

Product Page

Thankfully they aren't real cameras (though there certainly are some that small and even smaller). I guess they're only meant to remind you that someone might be watching so you better not pig out and eat them all.

You're holding it wrong

from here (source article)

You really got to wonder how Apple decided that a credit card you shouldn't put in your wallet or your jeans was ready to go to market. How out of touch can you get?

Now there's a job that could use some downsizing

found on The Art Of Trolling

Am I trolling by using a meme from The Art Of Trolling to suggest that being a troll is bad? It's certainly a bit meta, but I think there's a big difference between trolling and being a troll. It's a difference in commitment level. Anyone can perform a bit trolling now and again when there's either a justifiable reason for that kind of inflammatory behaviour or when it's genuinely harmless, but to it takes dedication to be a troll all the time. Being a professional troll (?) takes even that to the next level.

Scotty, we need more power!

from here (image source)

I suppose with the ever increasing power requirements of the cryptocurrency mining networks it was only a matter of time before someone got the bright idea of going directly to the source of electricity.

Puppy prison break

Watch on YouTube

One of the ways you can underestimate an adversary is failing to account for accomplices. Just because someone can't do a particular thing on their own doesn't mean they don't know someone who can help them.

The pigs can't be far behind

from here

To be perfectly honest, I think calling this hacking is a bit of a stretch (she was just using a password she previously had authorization to use), but I guess that's why I'm not in journalism.

Never gonna give up my privacy

found on Imgur

This is a pretty good example of a decoy. Imagine going that deep and finding nothing but Rick Astley - would you keep looking? I mean, sure, someone could do a search instead of just clicking on folders, but for those not smart enough to do that (like maybe your little brother/sister)  this may actually deter them from finding anything really private.