So read the privacy policy for goodness sake

from here

Thanks to Michael Farrell for finding this gem in the Sleep Number privacy policy about them collecting audio from your room.

He's making you pissed and checking you twice

found on Vitamin-Ha

Pretty soon now the holiday travel rush will start and a whole lot of naughtiness is going to go down at airports thanks to people who got their authority from a pizza box.

It's as easy as DELL

from here and here

I don't know how DELL's network was breached, but it sounds like they handled the situation pretty well, all things considered.

He's sure to spot anything suspicious going on

found on I Can Has Cheezburger

I don't know how the dog got there, but he's sure got a great place to keep an eye on everything.

We lose one way or another

from here

Either the cars fail or the test (CAPTCHA) fails. Both kinds of failure are bad for us.

(Thanks to Valdis Klētnieks for bringing this great observation to my attention)

How you know you've mastered the password

found on Izismile

I have actually achieved this, but only a couple of times.

I'm a little short this month

from here (image source)

If it keeps out even the account holder then the money will really be safe.

Anything can be a weapon if you hold it right

found on Imgur

This might not be real, but when it comes to Florida Man, anything is possible.

Master keys, shitty locks, and biometrics

from here and here

Forgive me for making a reference to a "theory" that is usually used to justify a sexual double standard, but I think in the case of fingerprint biometrics being fooled by fake fingerprints we're looking at something that fits the shitty lock classification much more closely.

You call that espionage?

found on Quick Meme

Just a reminder, 5 years later, what he did and why he still can't go home.

Honestly, I'm pretty sure a real spy would be able to sneak back no problem.