Shouldn't Conficker Be Dead By Now?

from here

Of course Conficker isn't dead yet. Old viruses never die, as the saying goes. Shame about those nuclear power plants that haven't applied patches in 8 years, though.

Don't Use Volumizing Conditioner On Your Ghillie Suit

found on Chuck's Fun Page 2

One easy way to make your stealthy sniper outfit not so stealthy is to make it so big it stands out.

My Privacy & Security Get Along Just Fine, Thanks

from here

Some people will tell you that privacy and security are at odds with one another, but that's not the case. Whenever privacy vs. security comes up it's actually your interests vs. the interests of the state or some other authority. It's just framed as privacy vs. security to make you more likely to accept a bad compromise.

Your Children Are In Safe Hands ... When They Aren't Here

found on Memebase

Some might say that this is just to keep the kids from going through the door, but any kid dumb enough not to figure this out is likely short enough that simply mounting the door knob high on the door would have had the same effect.

I Can Has Undetectable Malware?

from here

Inspired by a tweet by Mikko Hypponen suggesting this actually happened with a recent targeted attack.

It's certainly something that does happen, and the more sophisticated attackers long ago figured out they needed to use a service that doesn't send their test samples to their adversaries. Always nice when attackers fail to think things through, though.

New Punishment For Cybercrime

tweeted by Bob Rudis

Thanks to Bob Rudis for tweeting this image of Bart Simpson carrying out a punishment. Unfortunately I think if that sort of punishment actually worked he would have stopped long before he got to stealing data from PoS terminals, however I think there would be a visceral thrill if we could actually sentence real cyber criminals to this sort of punishment and watch them labour over it.

Sometimes It Pays To Be Average

from here

Yes, there really is a dating site that caters exclusively to attractive people, and yes, they really did suffer a data breach in which over a million users' details were leaked.

I can only imagine what kind of spam, scam, and stalker emails those users (pre-selected for their attractiveness) will receive after this.

No Connections For You

found on the Fail Blog

Well, that WiFi name certainly succeeded in preventing one unwanted connection.

You Were Expecting To Buy Safe Malware?

from here

It's amazing to me that the malware as a service business model even exists. There have been multiple examples over the years where the software was either intentionally backdoored or had vulnerabilities that allowed others to compromise it. I guess the criminals who buy malware instead of making their own are just too trusting.

Try Not To Goat It On

found on Gunaxin

I've seen goats being walked as though they were dogs, but I really can't see goats being as good at protecting property as dogs. If nothing else, I think they have the wrong sort of mouth for menacing/attacking an incoming threat.