What Is This, A Password Policy For Machines?

from here (source image)

Thanks to @idiot for tweeting the original screen shot from an account creation page somewhere. I'm a programmer but even I know better than to show regex to the user.

Can The Government See Your Dick Pics?

So, can the government see your dick pics? The answer is yes, yes they can, and they do, and they pass them around amongst themselves. Same goes for any other naked body parts you happen to be snapping pics of.

Leave it to John Oliver to find the key issue that everyone can rally behind against mass surveillance run amok. Uncle Sam is basically a sex offender.

For some helpful transcriptions of Edward Snowden's answers about various programs' access to your dick pics, see CanTheySeeMyDick.com.

Thanks For Playing Scammer, Try Again

from here

Yes, it's true, I not only use a unique password on each site, I use unique email addresses too. It makes it much easier to tell when a seemingly official email notification isn't legitimate.

Lions Save Kidnapped Girl

found on the meta picture

Those who prey on the weak should know that there's always a bigger, better, scarier predator out there (whether you're kidnapping young girls in Ethiopia or collecting stolen card data on vulnerable C&C server).

Who Needs A Calendar Reminder?

from here

This is the true story of how I remembered I needed to do my taxes. Thanks for the reminder, scammers.

What Do You Call A Shark Pretending To Be Friendly?

That's pretty amazing footage, and I can tell you right now you'd never catch me trying that. That's got to fall under the "too good to be true" category.

So, what do you call a shark pretending to be friendly? That's easy - "disarming".

Router Kitty Stands Firm On Firmware

from here

You may not be aware of this but your router is a little computer, and it needs software updates just like every other computer.

Outside The Box Protection Technique?

found on the meta picture

Those people may be protected from the lions' teeth and claws, but not from their urine or feces as near as I can tell - and that is what security people do - they think of the things that can go wrong that nobody else considered.

APT Naming

from here and here

I always suspected we were getting trolled by the vendors naming these APT groups. With names like "Volatile Cedar", I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks that way.

An Evil Plan?

found on the meta picture

As evil plans go, wifi denial of service doesn't really seem that all that sinister. Quite well suited to April Fools Day, though.