malware (parody)

ain't found a sinkhole for me yet
can't take down my botnet
seems every click results in scareware
bullet proof hosting, and yes
i double fluxed my DNS
the passwords stream to me from spyware

yeah they come to snuff the malware
yeah here comes the malware, yeah
an old virus never dies
no, no, no, an old virus never dies.

once installed, banker trojans
send all your money to my homeland
click on me, real nude pictures, not a ploy
got my tests 'gainst anti-virus
don't give those vendors no time for rest
0-days please, when there's just no foolin' you

yeah they come to snuff the malware
yeah here comes the malware, yeah
an old virus never dies
no, no, no, an old virus never dies.

 this is a parody of "Rooster" by Alice In Chains (maybe someday i'll be in a position to actually record my parodies instead of just leaving you with the lyrics and your imagination)

scumbag filevault

from here

gee, apple, how many security screw-ups do you think you can get away with before your users start holding you accountable?

for bird-brained crooks only

found on picture is unrelated

a scarecrow (or scarecop as the case may be) seems unlikely to work against a person.

security that looks good on paper

found on there i fixed it

security that looks good on paper doesn't always work out in real life.

fake security can work... as a deterrent. a beware of dog sign can make a bad guy look for easier pickings even if there's no dog present. but the thing about fake security is that it has to appear convincing.

a dirty job indeed

from here

hearing that al Qaeda was hiding secret documents in porn, the jokes just write themselves.

under cover

from here

the lady doth protest too much, methinks. no i don't know if it's actually a lady, but how often do i get to quote shakespeare here?

well there's your problem

found on memebase

you can see examples of derpina everywhere, even (it seems) in the security community.

ROSI coloured glasses

from here (image source one and two)

security can, and sometimes does, cost a lot of money. if you're not careful, you can make really poor (bone-headed, even) investments. not unlike alameda county spending >$300k on an armoured personnel carrier when they can't even keep all their schools open.

gaming the app store

found on mashable.com

well, it certainly seems to be that easy to game the approval process for apple's app store. check out the article this picture comes from for a more in-depth analysis.

self-XSS of the lambs

from here (thanks to nick owen for the inspiration)

always be wary of people asking you to paste strange code into your address bar. they're probably trying to get you to launch an XSS attack on yourself.