Now About That Fire Alarm

from here

It amazes me when technical people tell me they don't get reports of viruses on computers that don't have antivirus. Exactly what do you think generates the virus reports?

Real Hackers Have Elliptic Curves. End The Impossible Stereotypes For Hackers

found on wanna joke

What's funny is not that Gottfrid Svartholm in the lower picture looks so much like Shaggy from the Scooby Doo movies - what's funny is that Matthew Lillard, who actually played Shaggy in the Scooby Doo movies, also played a role in a movie called Hackers that arguably represented the eclecticism of real life hackers (like Gottfrid Svartholm) better than Chris Hemsworth did in the movie Blackhat (which the upper picture is from).

Nobody Tell The Criminals, OK?

from here (source image)

At first I was thinking that the only thing this sign was missing was a picture of the undercover officer(s), but then it occurred to me: what if there are no officers?

Well You're Not Wrong, But...

found on the meta picture

Advertising must be difficult for Hormel (the makers of Spam).

Open Wide

from here (source image)

Yes, there really is a group called Goatse Security.

So That's What Motivates Users

found on the chive

Maybe InfoSec needs to team up with adult entertainment companies to help drive positive changes in user behaviour. After all, if using sex as bait works for the bad guys, maybe we should try learning from them.

Some Kind Of Tool Perhaps?

from here (source image)

You're not supposed to be able to tell what's inside a package (ahem), but in order to make that work you need a lot more padding to disguise the form of the contents. As it happens, that goes for certain kinds of hidden communication, too.

They Probably Have The Bubble Gum In A Locked Display Case

found on dumpa day

They say you should focus your protective efforts on what matters. I wonder about this store's priorities.

What's Your Secret For Staying So Active?

from here

Neither the people wearing activity monitors nor the people designing activity monitors seem to give any thought to the privacy implications of collecting activity data. Maybe they should start.

Like That'll Keep People Out

found on acidcow

What? No proper fence around the airport? What could possibly go wrong?

Bet You Feel Dirty Now

from here

Are you promiscuous in the network connections you make with your device? Maybe your sensitive info would be safer if your device didn't 'get around' so much.

Flowers By Irene

found on the don't hate the geek tumblr

I have 3 words for all the people who fell over themselves laughing at this supposed FBI undercover operation fail - Flagstone Business Interiors. Apparently the owners of that company love a good prank.

I Can See The Problem, Can You See The Problem?

from here (source image)

Don't install your chain this way.

Feeling Left Out?

found on memebase

Don't worry, you're probably not alone if you feel like nothing more than a spectator to the whole Ashley Madison breach. 30+ million people is a drop in the bucket compared to the number of married couples out there.

Bet You Didn't Think Your Chrysler Would Need This

from here

Yes, it's true, there's a patch available for your Chrysler that you should really consider applying before some ne'er do well figures out how to kill the engine while you're on the highway.

I Hope They Don't Leave Embarrassing Messages On My Facebook Account

found on the meta picture

Sometimes we focus on the wrong things, on things that don't really amount to much in the grand scheme of things when there are much more pressing concerns.

Your WiFi password should be the least of your concerns when someone has broken into your house. In fact, you should worry more about WiFi abuse by people who aren't in your house (because it reaches outside too, you know).

Are You Surprised Ashley Madison Gave Up The Goods?

from here

I'm not going to judge people for using a site like AshleyMadison, but it seems to me that it's probably going to be one of your bigger secrets in your life and you might not want to fully trust some impersonal corporation with your deepest darkest secrets. Sites, even those catering to appetites of the flesh, occasionally get breached, and you need to consider what that could mean for you if they do. Maybe find some way to not give them your real info, or at least as little of it as possible.

SQL Injection In Real Life

found on whitec0de.com

It's a shame the real source of this (somethingofthatilk dot com) seems to have a lapsed domain because I would have liked to have seen if there were more funny security-related cartoons there.

Is Your Password That Strong?

from here

Is your password that strong? It can be very easily if you use a password manager.

X Marks The Spot

found on the london locks blog

If this is legit then I guess I should get some chalk and give thieves some false.. errr.. I mean true information (nothing worth stealing here).

I Bet You Don't Even Need Updates

from here

Yes, there really are people who fall for the crystal-powered computer security scam, and I think we can all agree that people selling crystals to protect your computer are scammers.

I'll Show You A Kid Napping - It'll Be You

found on the meta picture

Shouldn't there be a less ambiguous word for this, considering how seriously we take it?

I'll Decrypt You Yet, Qwerty Keyboard

from here (source image)

It looks to me like all he's going to manage to do is pop the space bar off the keyboard.

Have You Seen This Boy?

While the posts here involving authorities frequently don't show them much respect, it's hard not to respect a police officer who is capable of doing this, especially since I'm pretty sure this isn't a liquid metal poly-alloy terminator sent from the future to find John Connor.

It's Not Like They Can Turn That Shit Off

from here (source image)

Automatic protection seems great right up until it doesn't - like a smoke alarm that goes off every time you cook.

WTF POPO?

found on memedroid

I wonder what it says about our society that criminals have such a cute nickname for the authorities.

Deterrence - You're Doing It Wrong

from here (source image)

Not only am I not afraid of a cat that fat, I'm not afraid of a dog that can't catch a cat that fat.

Spammers Have Strange Tastes

found on memebase

I mean, I know the internet is full of strange tastes and preferences, but grannies with enlarged ...... I'm not even going to go there.

Do You Wanna Get Spied On? Because This Is How You Get Spied On

from here

I leave it as an exercise for the reader to decide whether it's non-encrypted messaging that allows you to be spied on or encrypted messaging that draws the attention and effort of the ones spying on people. It's probably true either way, really.

Who Wants To Look At Nude Celebrities?

found on the meta picture

It seems to me that if we didn't collectively put such a high value on seeing famous people without their clothes on then there'd be far fewer people trying to break into their phones, computers, and cloud accounts.

On the other hand, you'd think if we really did value nudity this way we'd hold those who share their nudity on purpose (like those in the adult entertainment industry) in higher regard.

It makes you wonder, what are we (collectively) really after?

Royal Bank Of Wordpress

from here

Inspired by a tweet from Shawn Moyer. Apparently, if you scroll down far enough on the Quora page asking how to do this you eventually find someone sane enough to answer "Just don't".

Protecting Privacy One Way Or Another

found on the meta picture

I'm sure it would be even better if the dog just guarded the door from the outside without barging in, but what can you do?

Siri, What's The Status Of The Loony-Beam?

from here (source image)

Not only is this a fairly spectacular smuggling-fail, I wouldn't want any part of those phones he's using as a codpiece.

Keep It Secret, Keep It Safe

tweeted by @SoldierUK

Thanks to @SoldierUK for tweeting this variation of the Keep Calm poster detailing a tried and true security strategy. And like any good Keep Calm variant, it makes a good catch phrase too.

So Much For No Evidence Of Wrongdoing

from here (source image)

Thanks to @evacide for tweeting the best quality version of the invoice I've seen so far.

I gather Hacking Team may have actually said that they had no business relationship with Sudan, and that at the time they said it it was technically true, but only because they'd been ignoring the question for months and had just broken off their relationship with them. Just the sort of weasel-words you'd expect from a shady company like that.

If You Died For Liberty And Freedom I Have Bad News

found on the meta picture

I wonder what principles people will fight and die for now that authorities seem to prefer authoritarianism now.

Hasta La Vista, Hacking Team

from here (source image from Hacking Team's creepy as fuck commercial)

From all accounts of what Hacking Team has been up to, it seems there's some cyber-karma at play here because they got pwned.

Anyway, I'm modifying the phrase "Live by the sword, die by the sword" (which is apparently attributable to Jesus?!) and swapping in a hacker abbreviation for the word "exploit". I figure it's an apt evolution of the phrase for the 21st century, and most likely an accurate prediction of what's in store for Hacking Team because I doubt they'll be doing much business after their entire nefarious business became public domain.

I Can Has My Gun Back?

Maybe you shouldn't be holding up convenience stores if you're that clumsy. In fact, for everyone's safety, just stay away from guns entirely.

Would You Lie For A Candy Bar?

from here

Apparently the studies where people are plied with candy bars to see if they'll give up their passwords have been done over and over again. It occurs to me, though, that the people who supposedly fall for it may be playing a trick of their own on the tricksters running the study by providing false information (something I do online all the time). After all, who tests whether the passwords are actually legit?

Of course then there's the small matter of "who would take candy from a stranger?"

<sarcasm> I Feel Safer Already </sarcasm>

found on the meta picture

Apparently police militarization isn't just a problem in the United States. This picture apparently shows police in the Canadian city of Windsor.

Keep Calm And Make Backups

from here

I thought I was being clever until I saw the URL for this when it was generated. Then I realized I was the 11th person to make a keep calm poster about making backups. On the plus side, 10 other people thought this was a good idea to share around.

Sandwich Thief OpSec Fail

found on the meta picture

Let this be a lesson to all you office space anarchists - you need to do a better job of covering your tracks.

Encryption: I Don't Think It Means What You Think It Means

from here

Inspired by a tweet from Martijn Grooten.

If Only I Had Some Way To Protect My Eyes From The Sun

found on the art of trolling

I guess this is what happens when fashion is more important than function. Either that or he doesn't understand the tools at his disposal.

"These Fat Stacks Of Cash Could Hurt Someone"

from here (original tweet)

As has rightly been asked by multiple other people, what other perfectly legal personal (possibly embarrassing) items does the TSA take pictures of and share on social media when they're rifling through your belongings? And this is just the things they're willing to show the public - what kind of pictures are they sharing amongst themselves? I'm pretty sure you can't bring down a plane with dollar bills, so the TSA's interest in this is disturbing.

It's A Trap!

found on the meta picture

Cat owners know this is a true equivalence.